Our Moments

OOO

love One & Only Once...

That's what it meant... I thought this was what I can do... U were the first person whom I really loved and nope I dun really think I loved my ex-bf before. Even Gloria knows it... I've got to kill my heart prematurely...

我能想到最浪漫的事 就是和你一起慢慢变老

This was my favourite song lyrics... Never sang this in karaoke before but this lyrics was always on my mind...

You sent me a text about true love n overcoming the obstacles... I agree that true love will overcome obstacles but not infidelity.
U r quite a reckless driver. I ever thought that what if you have an accident n was in coma. What will I do? I have learnt the experience of losing someone from coma fr am ex colleague. Her cousin was in coma n his gf decided not to wait for him. It's truely understandable because it's really mental n financial stressing n tiring throughout the period where the guy was in coma. The guy eventually woke up fr his coma half year later n realise his gf have left him. It was very upsetting. We often see this on drama but yet when it happens in real life most ppl will be caught in a fix... N so what will I do? It depends v much fr the doctor's diagnosis, my financial status, my stress level... But I will wait as long as I can because I dun want u to wake up n realise I'm gone n u have aged for many yrs... And I never brought this up before because I don't hope for it to happen n u will prolly say think about it when it happens...

Last year back in apr/may, as usual that my colleagues always bring up weird topics, one of them asked this question... What if your gf/bf/spouse have an affair, what will u do? Will u straightaway break/divorce? It makes all of the attached really think about it...

Eunice thought for a moment n replied no because she dun think she can accept.
Ailing replied that she don't think she can accept too
I replied nope I can't accept.
Budi replied he cannot accept too
Alvin replied it depends whether it is an emotional affair or only one night stand... N this brings us to think further that affairs comes in 2 forms... To Alvin, he can tolerate a one time off ons which he factor in that it may be due to alcohol influence or other factors. But he dunno what he will do if it is emotional affair...
Eunice, Ailing, Budi n me started to broaden our mindset on affairs...
However, we were still unable to accept any affair as that meant a betrayal to the victim.
So another qn was posed, what if kids are involved? This question was posed to Eunice n me as we were both married... Eunice replied she may re-evaluate as there's kids already... Then they turned to me and ask what about me. I told them a straight not possible as straying is betrayal, which simply meant my husband does not respect me or love me enough to inflict such a heavy blow on me...

Never knew not long after Alvin will be the first one to face this n me the second n in a worse plight... Alvin was able to forgive n wanted his gf back... In his perspective, there's no mistake in life but lessons learnt. Even though they eventually weren't together as his gf chose to leave him but he is moving on very well and has now found another gf.

In my perspective, I believe that to err is human, n human learns from the mistakes he/she make or fr experience of others... Also, there are big or small mistakes... Small mistakes can b repeated over n over again n can b forgotten... Big mistakes is akin to scarring ppl for the whole lives... But certain big mistakes can be forgiven...

So I asked myself... Can I just forgive your infidelity for once? It's hard or nearly impossible... U have the best examples from your parents... So why are u making the same mistakes? I can only derive w these answers:
1. U probably love me but not as much as to take good care of my feelings...
2. U dun respect me just as u all do not respect ur mum that much as compared to your dad

I surf net day n night crazily to find answers... How do a cheating spouse still love wife during/after affair... Articles have said it is possible so i do trust that u do love me.

My next question is why do affairs happen? Emotional needs unmet. And then I asked myself which aspects... I think it's almost all... Generally u can spend all ur free time with her n only comes back to ask me about bb... U dun look for me to talk, u dun look for me for sex... In this case, I met only one need which is wife in name...

In short, I wonder why do u still need me for?

Till now, we also have communication problems... I feel that u do not understand the magnitude of the damage given to me... In your mind, u see it as u will put in best effort to make it up to me n just making me happy n that will do the job... U truly dun understand...

U said u dun like the topic about Reno, future, savings etc... But that's the topics of life... We cannot live each day by each day, living in sg is all about planning... I took up the planning all because I wanted to ensure that u n my kids can lead a good life. To avoid all these topics, basically meant you cannot embrace marriage life n parenthood... Actually u need a gf, not wife n not family... So I understand that she is a gf to u...

I can't talk to u because u always harp on the point claiming that I insist I'm right... Let me know if I'm wrong on the above...

posted by Panda @ 8:13 PM